The power of gatherings

The first annual Ideas Festival: December 8-9th, 2007

Imagine the planet earth, and from space, every living being appears as a dot of light. The higher the concentration of love, the brighter the light. The brighter the light, the more it becomes a beacon of inspiration for the rest of the world. This past weekend, there was a very bright beacon emanating from Oceanstone in Indian Harbour, Nova Scotia where over two-dozen people gathered for the first annual Ideas Festival.

My dream was to create a two-day celebration of our humanity, of the aspects of us that make us unique and that connect us to one another. My goal for the event was to provide an opportunity for unique voices to be heard, for meaningful conversations to be had and for every participant to push the limits of their own thinking. The mantra for the weekend was “Inspire and be inspired” and I wanted for all who participated, whether they were presenting or attending, to leave the festival at the end of the two days more alive and connected.

The presentations and conversations were focused around the theme: Visions of Oneness. Everyone came with the desire and the courage to show up with an open mind and an open heart, to just be their authentic selves and speak from a place of passion. As these elements were present, the conversations were transformative and powerful. As presenters communicated from the heart, their voice carried an energy that was inspiring and reached the creative part of other individuals. The greater connection between all of us was palpable from the moment the first presentation started.

Louise LeBrun, founder of the WEL-Systems Institute, opened the weekend with her keynote address: Awakening to the genius within: Living large doesn’t have to be hard! She set the tone in a wonderful way by inviting us to dare to be bold, authentic, and beautifully weird, moment-to-moment in our lives and in our conversations with each other. With her though provoking and life changing remarks, she encouraged us to live at cause in our life and to be the creator of our own reality by inspiring ourselves first.

Lori Walton, founder of Exploring Our Potential Consulting, delivered the address entitled: Diversity: Every persons story and shared how diversity played out in her own life. In a very open and loving way, we were invited to be part of the intimacy of what it means for here to be seen and heard. She also invited us to sit back and take in the sounds and the vibrations of her new self-made drum and her spoken word poem. The drum vibrated as an extension of her being and it brought sensations of ancient wisdom. Its sounds were enchanting and playful.

Gabriella Larranaga took us into an experience of relating to our bodies and our minds with the art of yoga through her presentation: Relaxing the body, undoing the mind. The slow, gentle and invigorating movements of yoga were welcomed by all especially after sitting down for two hours. For some of us, the exercise brought a new awareness of our own bodies. It helped get a sense of what it feels like to exist within our bodies and brought an awareness of the areas that might need more attention. For others, it allowed energy to move more freely and emotional releases to occur.

Then we broke for a healthy lunch catered by Susan Morin from Rhubarb Grill and Café. Conversations were flowing over vegetarian lasagna and connections were made.

After lunch, Leona MacDougall from Inn-power Productions shared with us her beautiful and moving spoken and sung word poetry with her presentation: In Every Way I Can: Words-art-melody. The vibrations in her voice were haunting and the honesty behind the stories the poems told was freeing. It made me feel like life should be sang and danced.

Sarah Irwin was invited for an artist dialogue. Through the telling of her journey has an artist, she conveyed her belief that we are all artists if we just take a moment to stop our busy life… pay attention to our true selves... and engage it. If we only took some time out of our days to be creative, we could manifest our dearest dreams. And doesn’t have to be expensive or fancy.

Charlene Pearce’s interactive presentation Blood Follows Energy: 40 minutes with Savãsana, Pranayana, and Tadãsana introduced us to polarity therapy and three yoga positions. The movements woke us up, got our blood flowing and enlivened us as the first day of the festival was winding down. With a powerful collective chant to mother earth, we close day 1 with a sense of connectedness between all of us and with the earth. As the glorious sun was going down on Saint-Margaret’s Bay, the energy in the room was flagrant and I was rendered speechless by the intensity of the vibrations.

I took a moment to reflect at the end of Saturday and realize how perfect it had been and how I wanted it to be the same on Sunday. But I knew that it would be different and just as magnificent.

Internationally renowned guest speaker, Dr. Roger Morin, opened the second day of the Festival. He presented A Lattice Approach to Knowledge with audio visual support, illustrating with numerous pertinent examples the commonalties between different areas of studies: psychology, commerce, economics, philosophy, literature, biology and physics. He demonstrated how modern researchers are interested in a more organic approach to knowledge, a model that is call Complex Adaptive Systems. He explained that with this CAS, links can be made between science and spirituality and ancient wisdom can be proven scientifically. He concluded powerfully by speaking of parallel universes and black holes and his believes around these notions. The questions and comments that followed were most interesting as the participants got a strong sense of the direction the scientific community is taking and its openness to these phenomena.

Dr. Carole MacInnis, founder of the Oceanstone Institute, addressed the audience by engaging in a dialogue with her son, Scott MacInnis, who had just experienced three weeks ago what some call a spontaneous awakening. As she guided him with questions that would enlighten the process he went through, Scott would answer from the heart with such clarity and love. He explained his method of dismissing thoughts that belonged to his ego and not to his true self and how he can sustain the state of illumination he felt so strongly a few weeks ago.

After breaking for lunch, we gathered back for an entertaining performance art presentation by Kery-Lynn Calp : Surrendering to ourselves. With humor and honesty, Kery-Lynn illustrated by means of an energetic monologue the process of surrendering to her true self. The authenticity in her performance brought tears to my eyes and invited all of us to free ourselves from unhealthy external expectations.

As the founder of LifeSpace, I offered an interactive workshop entitled: Lemurian Huna: The call to remembering the Great Dream. I started by telling the story of the journey of my discovery of Huna, of my personal spiritual evolution and my travels to Kauai where I studied with Kahuna Laura Kealoha Yardley. In the second part, I lead the group in a guided meditation ritual where we breathed to the Three Selves of Huna and I proceeded to rattle and chant. The clarity of vibrations of the chant coming out of my being surprised me and brought me and some others back to ancient time, an ancient gathering, just like this one.

With her informative presentation: Health beyond nutrition: A different conversation, Amy McNaughton instructed us on the harmful ingredients found in many common comestible products, from the Centrum multi-vitamin to popular brand toothpaste. She also presented her singular and novel approach to nutrition by bringing it back to the individual, to what really goes on inside, from an holistic point of view.

We closed the Festival with a series of vitalizing movements lead by Charlene Pearce and we gathered around a symbolic center of wisdom represented by five lit candles and engaged in an open forum. Again, the sunset was phenomenal and the connection amongst us was very strong. Some offered their gratitude for the moment and for the opportunity to gather. Some expressed in different ways the immense love they felt at this magical time. Some shared the new thoughts, the insights they had through out the weekend. Some opened up about their dreams for humanity and for Gaia.

Throughout the weekend, different people were moved and inspired by different things. When witnessing someone weeping, many were moved by the moment of authenticity while others were presented with a great invitation to see why the situation created discomfort within them. When presented with scientific facts about the universal divine order, some had their core shaken while others felt it was confirming something they knew deep inside.

Because of the size of the gathering, the collective energy in the room was palpable. Healing was happening all around and releases could be felt. There was so much love to be shared and witness. The world vibrated at a higher frequency because of all the individuals that gathered that weekend.

The aspiration was to provide a time and a space that was open and inviting enough that individuals would feel safe to BE themselves in the moment, to express themselves and speak from the authentic place inside them, which is a place deep within the body. The particular structure and tone of this event allowed for those criteria to be present. The difference between a conference where information is shared without the disposition of safety and openness and the Ideas Festival where real, intuitive and emotional conversation were had, is in people leaving the event not just believing but knowing. We need to use our intellect to believe in a piece of information but when we experience the information, we no longer believe, we know.

And that is what happened this weekend. We all knew we were one… because we experience it, in all its majesty. We felt it in the tissue of our bodies. We were the oneness. I used to trust that choosing from intuition would lead me to growth and love. After this event, I now know. It is not about the visions of oneness anymore, or the expression of it. It is oneness. And we are it.

I am deeply thankful and grateful for everyone that participated in the event and for all who took part in the manifestation of my dream. It makes me wonder: what stops us from doing this more often? Why does it have to be a special event for us to be One?

Huge shift

I have been thinking lately about relationships. . There are so many rules out there of what a healthy and strong relationship is and a bad relationship is. I always felt like I was immune to all those rules because I trusted my ability to connect and knew my boundaries, but lately, it has it me really hard.

I always have been very open minded in relationships because I believe that the person has the right to be who they are, regardless. Who am I to tell other human beings who they should be, who they should like? Freedom of being authentic is important for a healthy relationship, in my opinion. But how to deal when we feel the connection to which we have been use to is in jeopardy? What to do when, out of the blue, the head of the lioness comes out from deap down, blind sides us, and roars in protection mode and overpowers everything? And what does that say about me, about my ability to stand alone, knowing that I have everything I need within me to be whole and safe and immense.

I guess it is hard when we are faced with, for the first time, the possibility that we could choose to live without the people you thought were the most important to you. And it isn’t really the case but the ego holds on really tight to the idea that something’s are permanent, set in stone. It has to for a short while for our world to make sense, for that sense of safety. What we realize is that when those beliefs are let go off, nothing is gone but more is presented.

With the huge acceleration in evolution we has human beings are experiencing right now, the intensity and the punch with which these instant of latent creation occur can sometime be tricky to handle. I need to remember that it’s not about anyone else but me

I feel like I am going through a huge shift in belief and I need not to forget that on the other side, it's a better place, not a dark, lonely place. Because we are never alone, really.

Ideas Festival

LifeSpace presents the 1st annual
Ideas Festival: Visions of oneness
December 8th and 9th, 2007. Oceanstone Inn and Cottages, 8650 Peggy's Cove Rd, Indian Harbour, NS.

Tickets are $85/day, $120/two days
(includes lunch catered by Rhubarb Grill and Café)
Seats are limited. Reserve yours early!
Contact Oceanstone Inn and Cottages for tickets at (902) 823-2160. For more information about the event, contact Anne at anne@oceanstone.ns.ca or (902) 449-7856

Ask about special conference rates on accommodations

Great ideas, ideas that bring forth considerable transformation, stem from a moment of brilliance within someone’s personal experience, an instant of perfect synchronicity. In that moment, possibilities open and the future presents itself. The magic of our connectedness as human beings is expressed in many ways, takes on different faces, and its magnitude is revealed when we get together to celebrate what makes us unique.

Come inspire and be inspired! Experience the magic of our own truth and the power of our collective wisdom. Grab the opportunity to engage in meaningful conversations with inspiring people, discover the thought provoking links that exist between fields of knowledge, and learn more about the unique relationship that connects us to each other, to all that exists. Through multi-media lectures, musical presentations, interactive workshops, art exhibitions, round table discussions, and more, the festival is designed to bring passionate thinkers and creators together to share thoughts and ideas on a myriad of subjects in order to expand and bring forward personal and collective thinking. It is a weekend dedicated to the celebration of the brilliance of our true self and an opportunity to open our minds to “what else?”

Keynote and Guest Speakers

The Festival will open on Saturday morning with the powerful keynote address “Awakening to the Genius Within: Living large doesn't have to be hard!” delivered by Louise LeBrun (Ottawa), Founder of the WEL-Systems Institute, Writer, Educator, and Speaker. On Sunday morning, LifeSpace presents guest speaker Roger Morin (Georgia,US), Emeritus Professor of Finance and Distinguished Professor of Management. Roger will deliver an audio-visual presentation entitled “A Lattice Approach to Knowledge”. The focus will be on the commonality and knowledge transfers across the physical and social sciences and from this cross-pollination of knowledge emerges a "theory of everything."

Presentations

“Active Scientific Student Exchange Triple System (ASSETS)” An international collaborative program for volunteer high school student groups, aiming at activities related to science, culture and adventure.
Conference-Sunday
Beto Pimentel-Physics Teacher, M.Sc. Brazil

“In Every Way I Can: Words-art-melody”
Musical Presentation-Saturday
Leona MacDougall-Inn-power Productions. Nova Scotia

“Blood Follows Energy: 40 minutes with Savãsana, Pranayama, and Tadãsana”
Workshop-Saturday
Charlene J. Pearce-RYT, Practitioner Energy Balancing. Nova Scotia

“Embracing the fire within: The journey to discovering myself”
Conference and discussion-Sunday
Carole MacInnis-Oceanstone Institute. Nova Scotia

“Relaxing the body, undoing the mind”
Workshop-Saturday
Gabriella Larranaga-Yoga Instructor. Mexico

“Lemurian HUNA Traditions of Hawaiian Healing and
Spirituality: Ancient rituals today”
Workshop-Sunday
Anne Thibeault-Bérubé-LifeSpace. Nova Scotia

“Health beyond nutrition: A different conversation
Conference and discussion-Sunday
Amy McNaughton-RNCP, RSNA, Reiki Master-Nova Scotia

“Diversity : Every Person's Story”
Conference and discussion-Saturday
Lori Walton-Exploring Our Potential Consulting. Nova Scotia

“Surrendering to ourselves”
Performance Art-Sunday
Keri-Lynn Calp-Personal Trainer, Reiki Practitioner, Speaker, and Artist. Nova Scotia

“Emerging Energy Therapies: Spirit is the life force which animates the body”
Round Table Discussion lead by Charlene Pearce-Sunday
Open invitation for an exchange of ideas on treatments for concussive events, phantom pain, and OSI.

Thank you Lori

This is well overdue.
I want to thank Lori Walton for her tremendous contribution of the light that she is during the ReDefining Education Workshop in September. It was indeed magical and it would not have been the same without you. I had tears that came down when I read your entry about the 3 years olds running freely in the rain. It was a great big space filled with shining beings. I feel very lucky. Thank you

A Bright Light

I have felt a need to stay away from the Internet for the last few months. I am not sure what it was about but it was a strong feeling. So much has happened since my trip to Kauai. I am on an intense ride, it's not showing signs of slowing down.

I came to really own the fact that in order for me to be Me, I can't always please people around me. I knew it before but now I feel very comfortable in it. If people liked my ideas, or I had the perception that they liked me, it use to have a big influence on if I would pursue a goal, a conversation or an idea. I Am a beacon of Inspiration for Love, Joy, and Connection. That is my identity and it requires that I stand alone a lot of the time, with the confidence that my expression is making a difference and inspiring others.

My experience with Huna was an incredible one. Huna was a great big feminine and nurturing space for me to embrace all that I am. I became more aware of the ways I can really inspire people to connect with the creative part of themselves. I came to realize that it's not about the “what” and the “where” but more the “How-Who”, that if I live ME with every breath, I profoundly transform my world and the world around me. For me, Huna is about my everyday way of life. It's being mindful of my every move and words, to resonate in harmony with the vibrations of the Sun that I am.

I am so excited for the 1st annual Ideas Festival. It is a bright ray of light.

The Great Dream

Today I leave my home to embark on a spiritual journey back Home. Out of Lynn Andrews Power deck, The Dream card chose me: "One day you will remember the Great Dream".

I am ready to remember, I am ready to bask in the warmth of the Love that I am, even more then I have.

Aloha!

Old friends, new habits

My friends just left my house yesterday and they were here visiting me from France and Ontario for a week. My parents arrived Friday and are still with us until Friday. It's been a full house, a joyful space and I feel lucky to have had dear friends and family with me, them getting to know Olivier and me, getting to discover more about them.

Right from the start, I shined the rays of my new found Sun. On the drive from the airport, my friends ask me what I have been up to, I said it all. Life Space, the Ideas Festival, the workshop and Huna. They couldn't believe so much as changed for me in such a short period of time. They were happy for me although they did not have the words to engage in conversations about what I do. They were a little surprised that an academic took such a creative and unpredictable turn.

Mid week, I found myself reverting to old habits when it comes to building rapport. I felt it was easier to discuss topics that we were all familiar with or had some knowledge of, which is fine, but I would find myself holding back on my true opinions because they would often generate a moment of silence, like the conversation had reach a dead end.

It became heavy for me after a few days and my energy felt drained. I became aware of what I was doing and became more mindful to stay connected and true. And I did. I am not sure what the consequences my openness and bluntness will have, but I trust that there is an intelligence at work in the rays I sent and even if I don't "know", I trust that I was a catalyst for change.

From impatience to "life" space

A few days after my blog entry about my impatience, I had the opportunity to experience some releases regarding the information that was stored inside my body that created the pressure. I knew my impatience was not mine and was not serving me, I was just waiting for something, a situation, an image, a person, to trigger the release.

Paul, Olivier and I went away for a few days to visit family members and on our way there, we stop at a restaurant. As we are eating, my son is not wanting to sit down to eat and all he wants to do is run around the restaurant, ask about everything he sees and play “pick a boo”. On my husband's hollodeck, this was amusing and he was just so delighted to be able to spend some time with him. On my hollodeck, the pressure in my body was high. So, I decided to just sit back and started to breath. The information moved up in my throat and it was hard for me to sallow and to breath well so I got up. I felt like things were heavy around me and as I recall the moment, the image in my mind is grayish in color and fuzzy. I walked around for a bite (just like my son) and I felt a little better.

As we are about to leave, I go to the washroom with my son to wash his hands and as I enter the washroom, it hit me. A wave of fear, then sadness came over my body. It was very powerful. My cells were remembering something about the past, probably related to an event that happened in a public washroom. I re-lived it, and then a sense of peace came over my body.

As we continued our drive, I allowed to wave to continue it's work, with no story attached to it. Knowing and believing that the impatience did not belong to me, it was just a matter of voicing my concern about the impatience I was feeling, claiming it and then sending my intentions to release it. The difference has been night and day. Even my friends ask me, " don't you get annoyed at all the questions he asks" It's not even relevant anymore. I feel a tremendous amount of space around my relationship with him. I feel so fortunate to have him as a little teacher. I am looking forward to what will come about, what will be created in the new space we opened up for ourselves.

Children are little Sun's walking around, shinning their brilliance beautifully, gracefully and so clearly. They are our most precious teachers as they shine the light of love directly from the source. They need our guidance with earthly ways and we need their guidance with the ways of love.

This is a story

I feel the pain in my lower back and when I take deep breaths, it is restricted around my right shoulder, my chest and the right side of my neck. Along with that is a feeling of impatience with myself and therefore, with my son.

The more I spend time with him, the more I learn about him and myself. But lately, I have been feeling overwhelmed with the amount of questions he asks and I have had a hard time staying centered and resourceful. I sit on the floor and I look at him and answer his questions and I try to breath and calm myself but inside, I feel the pressure rising and rising. I am unwilling to give up and turn on the tv or feed him a cookie but it gets to a point where I starts crying and my husband had to come and help me out and give me a time out. when I cry in front of my son, he cries too.

I am my worst enemy on this one, I know. But this ugly secret, that I don't have content or words for right now, makes me powerless and I cant stay resourceful.

It probably has something to do with how I was curious and hungry for life when I was young and I wasn't able to show or speak the immense joy I felt towards life, in order for me to be accepted and loved. But knowing that, and breathing and meditating, it's still there... A little bit more patience with myself would probably help.

Breath...

ReDefining Education
RETREAT and WORKSHOP

When children are allowed and invited to explore openly the magnitude of their true self, opportunities for self-created learning will present themselves naturally. When parents tap into their own brilliance, creating an environment favorable for children to initiate their growth from their own natural rhythm and flow, authentic motivations and inspirations spark. As human beings, we are curious in nature and the desire to grow and learn is innate in all of us. When initiated and engaged by the children, learning happens at quantum speed, and joy and meaning are constants in the process.

This retreat and workshop is an invitation for parents and children interested in exploring how they can redefine education for themselves by connecting with their true self and inner creativity. Through the power of the arts and the elements in nature, along with ancient wisdom and cutting edge science, you will be invited to discover resourceful, exciting, and life changing ways to inspire, learn, and connect with each other.

Parents, you will be invited to:

-see your own brilliance, follow your inner guidance, and find how you can engage from that place of wisdom and love with your children
-consider moving from being externally referenced to internally referenced
-let go of old patterns and habits that are no longer serving you in interacting with your children and create new patterns that promote natural learning and wellbeing
-find ways to remain resourceful in daily situations
- discover how to create huge amount of space for life and learning to unfold.

Children, you will be invited to:

-be 100% yourself and find out how resourceful and magnificent your are
-discover how to know and trust your true self and follow your intuition
-learn, through your experience of the elements in nature and through art, how we are all connected and all unique.
-find ways to express what you have to say, create what you desire and discover your own unique talents.
-have fun with all aspect of learning.

Dates: September 14-16 2007
Location: to be held at beautiful seaside
Oceanstone Inn and Cottages oceanstone.ns.ca
8898 Peggy’s Cove road, Indian Harbour, NS

Investment
$789 per parent/child couple + hst
Includes two nights stay at Oceanstone, all meals from Friday dinner to Sunday lunch, facilitation, and workshop.

Your facilitators

Céline Burlock-Levasseur BEd

Céline is a mother, a certified WEL-Systems Catalyst(TM), a published writer in the field of personal development, parenting and education. She is a certified teacher in Nova Scotia with 14 years of experience.

Anne Thibeault-Bérubé, BEd, MA, PhD
Anne is a mother, a certified WEL-Systems Facilitator(TM), a published writer and a public speaker in the field of Comparative French Literature. She has many years of experience teaching children and adults in FSL at all levels.

Come experience the immensity of who you are in this natural and beautiful wide-open space of growth and love, and redefine education. To register or for more information, contact Anne at 902-449-7856 or anne@oceanstone.ns.ca

No story

I am going to Kauai in a few weeks to see Laura and receive a two week personal HUNA intensive. This all came about when I decided not to take the job at Acadia and when my class got cancelled. It just happenned, it felt like there was no options, this is what I am suppose to do now, regardless. I don't know what is in store for me there and after but it feels immense. Since my decision to go, my body has been going through this cleansing and I found myself getting physically stronger. In yoga, which I just started last month, and had never done it before, I can do these really intense poses. I feel like I am regaining my childhood flexibility.

A few days ago, I received a Reiki treatment from my friend Rachel and I combined my intentions with hers and the amount of release that happened within both of us was huge. After the treatment, I was looking at her talk and I could see her throat chackra very clearly. It was vibrating with her words.

I just watched the movie The Last Mimzy. It made me cry to see the little girl so strong and confident in who she was and what she had to do. I believe children know what is best for them, for us and for the world.

Some would say my son is going through his terrible twos but all he is doing is becoming aware of the limitations that I, and this world, have and are putting on to him. All he wants to do is live, be a creative being at every breath he takes. And he has what it takes to live like that, I am the one stopping him, with the way things should be.

How far can I go? How much can I let go of culturally conditioned belief? And at what pace? I feel everytime I take a big leap and shed beliefs, everything accelerates. It feels right now faster than I have ever felt, yet, I know that next week, I will feel like it is more than now.

If you are reading this and you don't know about Fire the grid, have a look at this website.

firethegrid.com

Please take some time on Tuesday to share your love with mother earth.
I think this is going to be another quantum leap for the universe and things will only get clearer and faster after.

This is my declaration of this moment.

“I am love and I will make no excuse for it and will be, more than ever, an expression of it at every breath.”

And let the pace pick up some more and let the ride continue…

A lovely way

I am “Feeling” more than usual today. With deep, deep breaths, I feel emotions and sensations all over the tissue of my body. I feel everything raw. I just let it happen, I let it all flow all the way down to my core. I don't try to find what it means or what it will bring because it will come, in due time.

I feel different than yesterday, I feel more and more clear about what I want to do. I am letting go of the past, of old goals and aspirations that no longer fit my beliefs and values. I am remembering the original goal, the primary mission.

I was supposed to teach an intensive French class this summer at Acadia University. I was looking forward to the financial benefit of it but at the same time, I felt that it would be a few wasted weeks, now that I am speeding up on my own unique path. I knew I would have been able to be myself in the classroom but I would have been easily persuaded by my olds habits to use my mind more than my heart. I was supposed to start at the end of August and yesterday, they called me to tell me that the class was cancelled, that not enough people had registered. It's funny because a week before, they ask me if I wanted to teach a second intensive this summer because they were missing a teacher. After a hard time making up my mind, I decided that if the reason I would be taking the job was just for the money, then I shouldn’t, even if my mind was saying "are you crazy" So now, instead of two contracts this summer, I have zero... and all that time. Look at how I created this reality for myself.

I started doing some breathing and meditation. It felt to me that I would not be able to compress space and time and manifest what I wanted if I followed an external structure and timeline, like the one the university would provide.

At this moment, I feel like I am on a good path. I feel lost at times but I trust that state of being because it has proven me that something wonderful and meaningful is on the other side.

I feel a great sense of hope and love for my and all of humanity's future as I watch the LIVE Earth concert. I notice that artists who are engaged in there signing are moving people, and that when you can see the passion for what they are saying and signing, it's contagious. It makes me want to be impeccable with my words and always speak from a place of Love and Self.

Watching the concert in different cities all around the world, I know that we are all connected, that we are all the same and speaking the same language. I can see the world I envision and dream of forming little by little, but faster and faster and I am so grateful and excited to be part of this incredible ride. I know that we need to come together but before, it’s necessary to look inside and find ourselves. We need to share our unique gifts and talents, speak our truth, and then we can see how we are the same. We all come from the same source, from an intention of deep love.

Human beings have an immense and endless capacity to love. I truly believe that and I see it everywhere, more and more, in people’s eyes.

I feel the earth
I feel the hurt
but most of all
I fell you

The intensity of your love
your desire for connection
I see your light
I see you bright

I want to return to basics. There is so many things I have that I don’t need, things that sustain the illusion. Not just physical things but thoughts, beliefs, filters, opinions, judgment…

I want to feel more.

I want to feel. Feel, feel, feel… NOW!

Breath…

Fabulous thoughts, measured life

Here is one more thing. At this moment it feels like it’s ok for me to live my life authentically, as long as the person that will have to deal with my mistakes is only me. That would imply that I will make mistakes. Maybe I should think of them not so much as mistakes but as explorations. But what if my choices of taking the road less traveled and engaging with my son in new, unproven ways proved to be detrimental to him? I mean, for example when it comes to food, how far can I go in trusting our natural rhythms without affecting his health?

That is a big question of trust and I am glad I am visiting this question at this point in my life. I feel that in order for me to live truly authentically, I have to be extreme in other people’s eyes. I was taught to stay in the middle, to not be extreme in anything. Extreme was dangerous because I might end up not fitting in, or alone.

To live My life, I need to live at the extreme end of my beliefs. If I desire a fabulous life and have extravagant thoughts, I can’t start measuring my thoughts, my words, my feelings. I am extravagant, I am the sun. I am not measured and reasonable.

Little mirrors

I wonder to what extent my son is a reflection of me.

I have been spending most of my time with my 2 year old son. I have been busy writing my thesis these past months that I just recently notice how much he had changed and I felt like I had missed out on his growth. Not that I need to be there for every moment, but I did create him and I feel like he can teach me a lot.. about myself. And he is such a joy to be with.

So I stayed at home with him for the last 7 days. I knew I needed to change my priorities and the way I go about my day. I wanted to see what would happened if I just followed his rhythm, do everything he wanted to do, inspire him to discover new things and just 'be' with him. When I follow his rhythm, I came to realize that there is nothing to fight against. And not just that, but I discovered new things. We went for a walk in the forest and I let him lead the way. Immediately, he chose to go off the path, into the rough, and we discovered enchanting new water streams and big mossy boulders that I didn't know were there. We laid on the grass, look at the sky, played with a few bugs... it really was much more pleasant than our usual walks on the 'path'.

Because I had made the decision to 'be' with him, I think he knew that I didn't have anything urgent to do so he would not want to leave the beach or the forest until he was completely done. Often, I would get the feeling that I wasn't very productive and that I should be working on more important things. Even if I had made the conscious decision to be with him for the week, old habits were knocking on my door for the entire week. Sometimes, it would be so great that I would break down and cry. I felt like I was wasting time and that is unacceptable in my old model of the world. When I would try to skip out to my computer to read or write, I felt like he knew if I was doing it to escape something or if it truly was important. It drove me crazy some times because he would not give me a break from just “being’’. I wonder how much we put our children in daycares and schools just because we can’t handle the reflection of our own selves.

I started to wonder to what extent my son’s own rhythm is a mirror for my own? If the source is more evolved and he is still so young with very little cultural conditioning, he must be wiser than I can imagine. He would only know the natural rhythm of life because he lives completely in his body. I wonder to what extent I could still be productive, healthy, happy, and do the work I want to do, if I had him all the time with me?

The thought seems crazy to me right now but I can sense a certain wisdom in it. I will continue to explore that.

The past week, I have found myself in interesting social situations. As I live my truth in my daily life, I found myself talking to more people and creating situations (out of my awareness) that help me discover more about the work I want to do with children and parents. At first, when I realized that the people I was interacting with were not familiar at all with my views of education, I started to doubt the value of what I want to bring to the world. After a few waves, I came to realize that I have to be in situation where people are not familiar or how am I suppose to make a difference? For so long, I have been seeking people that think like me,... well, except for a very few people and a few books, I wasn't being truly myself when I was in conversations with most people I met. Like Louise says in her blog, it's easy to preach to the converted.

This is a whole new way of going through the world for me. And I need to breath....

I helped out a friend on Friday evening, bartending for an event, and I forgot to breath for 5 hours. Wow, do I ever regret that. I felt hung-over (I didn't drink) the day after, I just wanted to sleep and there was my son, wanting a new adventure... I thought I was going to die. I don't know yet what kind of lesson that was but maybe something about how should not engage in activities where I will find it to hard to be my authentic self.

Something else came up this past week with my son. The whole issue around food and meals. The three meals a day, whoever invented that? I feel like trying to feed a child at specific times and specific foods that we think are good for them, is creating some sort of addiction. I notice that my son is very happy drinking juice, milk and water all day with fruits and a few veggies. I wonder how much creating pressure around eating at that young age creates addiction to food later?

And as we evolve, and our vibrations become higher, how much food do we really need? Is it even a need?

Redefining education

A very important important thing for me is that children are guided to see the brilliance and the love that they are and to engage life from that place, from that inner truth. In order for that to happen, we, the parents, need to see our own brilliance. Only then will we be able to see it in our children.

When a child is allowed and invited to explore the magnitude of his true self, with no restrictions, opportunities for learning will present themselves naturally. The parents (teachers) need to draw on this natural rhythm and go with that flow. Human beings are curious in nature. The desire to learn is innate in all of us. But we have been thought that learning, education, and parenting need to happen a certain way, following a certain pre-establish structure. I propose we redefine learning by first of all considering education and parenting differently than we have been in the past decades. In my opinion, they are both part of living and shouldn’t be considered separately. One other thing I invite us to reconsider is how learning happens. Instead of thinking of it as the content to be learned has to come from an outside source, like a teacher or a book, what if all that needed to be learned stemmed from inside the child and all the teacher had to do is to create a space for that learning to unfold on it’s own terms? What if we replaced lessons with inspirations and outcomes with personal truths? Because in my experience, when initiated and engaged by the students, learning happens at quantum speed and joy and meaning are constants in the process. It is time we redefine Education for ourselves, for our children. Old habits and ways of doing need to be left in the past and a new a approach needs to be considered, one that reflects the brilliance of our children and the magnificence that we has human being are. Our children are brilliant and they are Love. Lets let them lead the way into a new area. We need it more than ever.

I got back to my Yoga practice this morning and it felt amazing. I feel it helps me move things. As we chant and breath through the poses, I am aware of my higher-self downloading into my body and I can feel different sensations.

My Yoga teacher is wonderful. She is so present to herself that the unfolding of the session operates like an organic entity. It looks to me like she is aware of our energy field and can feel what we need and she just engages. She trusts the moment and it works. She is a model for me how when you are fully present to yourself, work becomes effortless and ever so meaningful for others.

I want to work with Huna. I would like to go to Kauai, very soon, and experience Huna in a way that would allow me to create the experience for others. I think it would bring out the Love in me even more.

I returned to writing my book today and it feels to me like the words are flowing more effortlessly. I also became aware of the end of the book and the beginning of a new one. Seeing the end of it will accelerate the completion of it.

I made a choice, just after stepping out of the program last week. I decided that I want to engage every moment of my life with my body fully present and mindful of the immense sun that I am. It seems to mean that more and more opportunities to decloak and release stored emotion present themselves to me. Some situations are bringing up information I have been avoiding for a long time and when I choose to engage differently, it profoundly affects the world around me. I know it's all good but I also know that there are a lot of people that are not ready for the intense burst of light that I bring. The difference with before is that I seem to have lost the dimmer. It is permanently on full blast. And that has profound consequences.

Something to think about.

Hard conversation

I was just in a conversation with my husband about how he whish there was more flow in his business. It feels very dense right now for him. I spoke my truth and I found it hard to stay in the conversation. My throat was closing, my stomach was in knots. I relaxed into it and continued to tell him that I thought he should consider allowing his emotions to flow through him in order for him to allow for new thoughts to come about.

He left, saying he was tired and I felt like I had failed. He doesn't want to open the floodgate and I don't blame him. But now I wonder if I should have just listen instead of offering him the space to consider differently how his body works.

As I relax into the tears that come with the feeling of failure, I know something new will emerge on the other side of the breath...

No stories

I didn't know that when I paint with my fingers, I create something more appealing, meaningful, and interesting than when I use a brush. My body contains so many mysteries and information it wants to express and demonstrate. It is another example on how my body knows more than my brain. “Don’t do it the way it’s suppose to be, do it the way it feels good.” I just painted a SUN and it looks nothing like what I had in mind. It’s way more vibrant.

I was talking to a friend this afternoon and instead of listen to the content of the stories she was telling about her sadness, I was looking out for her brilliance to peek out and when it would, I used that to guide her to herself. It was a neat feeling to be able to stay in a conversation that was going to make her grow rather than just validate what she was feeling. She is a person that came into my life recently and she reminds me of me at the end of high school. She cares so much about what other people think of her and she works so hard to be accepted and loved by people that she thinks are superior to her but really, who are just reflecting her own insecurities. I use to make myself crazy and sick wanting everyone to like me. I was digging a whole for myself. I was never satisfied and I never truly connected with people.

I am amaze at the power of not telling stories, not talking about the past, to be in the moment and only seeing the now as important. It's a life changer that one. I guess I feel now that not only do I have nothing to loose but the past and so much to gain, myself. With the glimpse of my higher self, the SUN that I am, I know how it feels in my body to be truly connected and I want that to be my everyday life. Being in the moment and not telling stories is what is going to help me live connected everyday.

I saw this afternoon how easy it is to help someone see the light in them self when I stay in the present. It's literally like I can’t hear the stories, the content anyway, but when the higher self peaks through, it's like a contagious ray that goes straight to my soul and I pick it up.

I am more confident in my abilities as a "healer" or a guide, I am not sure which word is best. I know that just being myself in the present will help people. I am the SUN therefore I shine. By shinning, I invite and allow others to see the SUN that they are. Because in my mind, everyone is LOVE.

I want to work with pregnant woman and mothers of very young children.

I will create opportunities for pregnant woman and mothers of young children to experience the immensity of who they are, and guide them in seeing for themselves how they can provide an open environment for there children.

I am the SUN rising and shinning

Declaration #...

I Am Love and it is my duty as a human being to seek Joy and Connection in my Life.

I want people to experience the amount of love and joy that exist in them. Through my own experience of those things, I want to inspire people to discover it for themselves. I want to connect, feel connected, and help people connect.

I am a beacon of light.

LOVE, JOY, and CONNECTION

This is an exploration. I don't know where it will take me.

A lot happened today. As I was driving to Oceanstone to take part in the Leadership and Emerging Future Workshop, I listen to a song by Ed McCurdy covered by Serenna Ryder called Last night I had the Strangest Dream, and here are the lyrics:

Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream
words and music by Ed McCurdy

Last night I had the strangest dream
I'd ever dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war

I dreamed I saw a mighty room
Filled with women and men
And the paper they were signing said
They'd never fight again

And when the paper was all signed
And a million copies made
They all joined hands and bowed their heads
And grateful pray'rs were prayed

And the people in the streets below
Were dancing 'round and 'round
While swords and guns and uniforms
Were scattered on the ground

Last night I had the strangest dream
I'd never dreamed before
I dreamed the world had all agreed
To put an end to war.

I started crying when the song came the part where she said:

They all joined hands and bowed their heads
And grateful pray'rs were prayed

I was crying like a mother who had lost her child. Like I was at the funaral of someone I really loved.

I remember I had the same feeling came over me when I cried the day before I left Kauai. It's tremendous longing for what I lost. Having a glimpse of me, remembering how it use to be, that is what makes me weep.

What did I use to be, back when I was five years old? I had no limits for the amount of LOVE and JOY I felt inside and shared with my friends, animals and with nature. I remember being in love with a tree. I remember being one with the forest, dancing under the rain. The smell…

How was the world back in Lemuria? It was fild with LOVE, JOY, and CONNECTION. Those are the things I long for. When I get a glimpse of it, I feel overwhelmed because it is such in small doses in my life compared to the amount that is in me.

I want children to feel the amount of LOVE and JOY that exists in the world, in people, in them selves. I want them to CONNECT with it. That is the environment I want for them to learn in so that there is nothing stopping them for experiencing the greatness that they are.

Learning should be joyful. It should be fun, all the way. For that to be true, there needs to exist no external structure except for the natural rhythm of the child.

At this moment in time, I feel like I want to work with children between the age of 2 and 7.

Working with home schoolers, the parents and the children, would fit really well with my vision of a LifeSpace of JOY, LOVE, and CONNECTION because these parents have already made the choice that they want something different for there children and they could use the inspiration, the invitation to look at education through another lens, one that offer a tremendous amount of space.

Children will benefit from the proximity to nature ( the ocean, the forest) because nature’s rhythm, nature’s way of Being is filed with wisdom and it will allow them to feel there own rhythm, to follow there own pace.

The elements are important to me. They represent a wisdom that I need to tap in. They also provide a sensory experience that is pleasurable and makes me feel connected to something bigger. In nature, surrounded by the elements, I feel safe (most of the time), I feel at home, I feel like everything will be all right.

Children will benefit from the experience of art. The poetic and the esthetic aspect of art. Creation and perception. I believe that through art, my higher self speaks to the world and that I can see other people’s soul through their art.

They will benefit from the exposure to people that are there to see them for the God force that they are and that want to accompany on there experience of LIFE.

Breath…

Call for papers and other presentations

LifeSpace
presents

The 1st annual
Ideas Festival
December 8-9, 2007
Oceanstone Inn and Cottages, Indian Harbour, NS

Call for papers and other presentations

Great ideas, ideas that bring forth considerable transformation, stem from a moment of brilliance within someone’s personal experience, an instant of perfect synchronicity. In that moment, possibilities open and the future presents itself. This two-day conference is designed to bring passionate thinkers and creators together to share ideas and thoughts on a variety of subjects in order to expand and bring forward personal and collective thinking. The theme of this year’s conference is Visions of Oneness. The division that exists between cultures, research areas and people is diminishing as we recognize more and more that we are all connected and that one person’s thoughts and actions affect another. LifeSpace aims to create an opportunity for more bridges to be built between disciplines and subjects, between old and new perspectives of the world we all share. The more we open ourselves to others, to what is different from us, the more united we become. When people come together with the desire to build a unified world and to make a difference, magic happens. Let us use this power and bring forth genuine transformations towards a future of peace and wellness. Articles and presentations will be proposed for publishing following the conference.

Suggested topics:

-The power of the arts
-Leadership for a new era
-Education of today’s children
-Holistic wellness

Please submit a 200-300 words proposal before September 1st over email at anne@oceanstone.ns.ca. Presentations can have different formats: reading or presenting a paper, a musical presentation, a workshop, a reading of creative work…

For more information, please contact Anne Thibeault-Bérubé at 902-449-7856 or anne@oceanstone.ns.ca

L’expérience du sensible. #1: Éclatement de la matière

Voici un poème instantané, un texte qui est survenu à mon esprit comme une dictée divine, alors que je travaille sur une transcription d’une table ronde qui porte sur le sujet du petit poème classique japonais, le Haïku.

Here is a instant poem, a piece that appeared in my mind as if it was a divine dictation, while I was transcribing a round table on the subject of Haïku, a classic form of Japanese poetry.

Sans bruit,
sans mouvement,
comme si tout dort.
Je me vois assise sur moi-même
sans les bras
qui pourraient me retenir.

Jamais de son,
sans caresse.
Un moment de jouissance muette.
Le souffle profond
et long,
s’allonge longuement.

Le fond,
la noirceur de la plaine devant moi.
Un avenir possible,
la montagne probable.
Ce qui me sépare de toi,
de moi, de ce qui me ressemble.

Sans bruit, tu es là,
sans audace,
tu danses dans ma face.
Ta plénitude s’effondre
et jamais je n’oublierai ton regard ce jour-là,
lorsque la lune était bien trop haute.

Saisi au vol,
l’instant de cette explosion interne.
Tout se sépare, se transmute
et redevient autre.
Le travail de créer à partir de rien.
Si bon, si bien.

Sommeil prolongé

Je m’attends à l’enceinte de la porte.
Le sourire large d’espoir,
les mots convaincants.

Le souffle me manque à nouveau.
Je perds l’équilibre
et je bascule dans la noirceur de mon corps.

Les êtres y volent,
s’amusent à trouver un appât,
pour cette fille, fille.

La nuit tombe
je me régale
de la lourdeur de l’ombre.

Je me livre au ciel,
à ce rayon qui me porte vers moi,
porteuse d’espoir d’être comme avant, UN.

Je tire la fleur de soie hors de ton corps.
Je te la présente
mais tu ne la vois guère.

Elle t’apparaît… invisible.

Je monte vers la mer,
mon amie,
cette eau.

La fleur y est,
tranquille, aimante,
désireuse d’embrasser le moment.

J’arrive au bord
je plonge.
Une sensation d’appartenance!

La terre sous mon être
vibre de douleur.
Je ressens la souffrance,

ta souffrance, Gaïa...

Déjà vu

This is a short story I published a few years ago. As I read it again
today, it stirred up a lot of information in me. I felt like sharing it
again.

Ceci est une courte histoire que j'ai publiée il y a quelques années. Alors que je la relis ce matin, des vagues d'émotions me submergent. Je vais la partager avec vous.


Le temps s’arrêta sûrement. Du moins, il se ralentit, car il ne pouvait supporter la fulgurance de ce qui se passait. Le sang dans mes veines immobilisa sa course régulière vers mon organe vital, je le sentais. Ni mon existence, ni celle de mes étudiants ne pouvaient poursuivre sur une ligne temporelle normale. Vous savez sans doute de quoi je parle. Une telle souffrance n’est pas dans le plan original du Créateur. Alors quand quelque chose d’aussi intense se produit, l’univers n’arrive pas à suivre. Et meme au ralenti, la quintessence de ce qui m’arrivait, dépassait mon entendement. Ce ne fut qu’au moment où mes yeux croisaient ceux d’Alison, que je lisais la terreur dans son regard que je compris que quelque chose d’inconcevable venait de se produire.

Aujourd’hui, c’est le claquement de la chute du livre d’Histoire que Christian a laissé tomber par terre qui a provoqué ce cinéma, cette sequence d’images vives. Hier, c’était la cruauté dans la voix de ma sœur alors qu’elle disciplinait ma nièce qui m’a soudainement transportée sur les lieux où ma mère élevait la main au-dessus de ma soeur. Ça m’arrive constamment. Je commence à peine à m’y habituer, même à y prendre goût. Après tout, ce sont ces moments de cristallisations parfaites du temps qui déclenchent mon écriture. On peut dire que c’est mon obsession à comprendre les choses et les gens, et surtout le plaisir que j’éprouve lorsque je voyage, qui fait qu’aujourd’hui je me retrouve face à face avec Alison, loin d’ici, loin de mes obligations très importantes. Le présent est toujours plus intéressant une fois qu’il est passé, qu’il est devenu un produit de notre mémoire. Je suis sûre d’avoir écrit ça quelque part.

Cette fois-ci, il y a quelque chose de particulier : le silence m’inquiète. En fait, je n’arrive pas à distinguer si c’est une absence de son ou si c’est l’éclatement d’un seul bruit si percutant qu’il en est assourdissant.

Dans tous les cas, je ne pus entendre ce qu’Alison essaya de me dire. C’était une enfant particulière. Le matin, elle était toujours la première arrivée dans la salle de classe. Il m’était alors impossible de lui cacher quelque état d’esprit qui m’habitait. Souvent, elle restait à mon bureau pendant plusieurs instants, sans rien dire, sa main sur mon épaule, comme pour me rassurer de ce qui pouvait me tourmenter. Ce matin-là, à la manière d’une voyante elle me dit : « Mademoiselle, would you keep an eye on me today. » À travers le cristal de ses yeux si bleus, je ressentis la profondeur de son inquiétude.

Les enfants écrivaient une composition en français. Le silence dans lequel ils se concentraient était différent de l’ordinaire, angoissant. Je les regardais. Je les trouvais beaux. Habituellement, je pouvais dénoter le bruit silencieux du mécanisme actif de leur créativité. C’était différent ce jour-là. Ils en furent tous à la fin de leur histoire. Une fausse sérénité, un assouvissement prématuré régnait dans la salle de classe. Les enfants sont pure intuition.

Mes mouvements ne furent certainement pas commandés par ma pensée. J’étais un personnage dans une pièce de théâtre qui, connaissant ses répliques par cœur, réagissait automatiquement le moment de la représentation venue, à la manière d’un réflexe. Je savais mon texte. J’avais déjà répété mon rôle. Aujourd’hui, je peux affirmer avec certitude que je l’avais bel et bien répété un nombre infini de fois.

L’énorme crevasse dans le plafond laissa entrer la lumière du soleil. Cette lumière, on eut cru que c’était le Messie qui nous venait en aide. Je me relevais, car il semble que je sois tombée au moment où le temps a repris son rythme régulier. Christian a l’habitude de dire que ses bras et ses jambes bougent trop vite, plus vite que le temps. Il n’arrivera jamais à partager le même espace-temps que ses camarades. Lui aussi c’est un enfant particulier. Dans un moment comme celui-là, il nous aurait été d’un grand secours. À l’instant crucial du ralentissement temporel, il nous aurait prévenus de l’imminence de l’impact et la Providence aurait ainsi été déjouée. Cependant, je n’eus pas la chance de l’avoir comme élève à cette
époque.

Le vacarme de son livre d’Histoire qui percute le sol et je me retrouve essayant de tous les rassembler. Programmés eux aussi, ils se projetèrent dans toutes les directions. L’intentionnalité de nos mouvements ne fut pas très claire. Nous répondîmes tous à un ordre supérieur, qui, ce jour-là, avait décidé que ce serait la fin. Du moins, la fin d’un chapitre. Le plafond s’effondra sous l’impact de la bombe. Mes poumons s’affaissèrent sous la pression. Je le revois parfaitement maintenant. Personne n’a survécu le jour où l’obus a anéanti notre univers, seulement nos souvenirs. C’est gravé en permanence sur nos mémoires étendues.

Alors que je me penche pour ramasser le livre de Christian, j’ai l’impression que le souffle me quitte encore une fois. Mais ce n’est qu’une impression, un déjà vu. Je respire bien, mes élèves sont en train de travailler sur leur projet. Je comprends maintenant d’où vient mon angoisse. Je dois écrire ça quelque part : Fragments de silence.

Tic-Tac...

I feel restless. So many possibilities are popping in my mind and I don't which one to grasp and run with. I feel I can do a lot. When I am doing something I like, I can do a lot. I am sitting here in my chair at the library in Quebec and I feel like a bomb waiting to explode. I feel the urge to bite my nail, to eat, to read, but it's more than that. Something wants to move, to go forward, to engage and manifest. It’s really intense. This is what happens when I don’t look at my emails for a few days and then open them and get bombarded by information, sensations, insights, all at once.

There is tightness in my throat. Asking for what I want is still a hard thing.

Money is so often on my mind. It doesn’t immobilize me as much as it use to but it still creates pressure in my body. If money was as abundant as my desire to create, I would not have any problems! But I feel like I am at a time in my life where I am at a tipping point. I am taking great risks and I have no guaranty that I will make it financially.

It will work itself out. I feel it in me that the leap is worth it and that eventually, things will turn around.

"I AM Home..."

I am in Montréal, in this immense city, buzzing with difference faces and styles, but more than ever, I feel like I am seen here. As I walk down the street, people have been looking at me in the eyes for the past few days, as if I were in a small village where we all know each other. In the Vietnamese restaurant last evening, an old lady with a large straw hat came up to me to speak with me, softly she said that I will like it here, that I made a good choice. And the server, with is gentle demeanor puts it's arms around my shoulders as he takes my order. It felt like I was part of sometime. Breath. Like we really were connected and that my long, long lost family was here, and well.

The past few days have been incredible. I was at a conference at the university of Montreal to present my new approach in observing and teaching literature. I was one of the last presenters to go and I have to say that I was nervous because no one had spoken in the first person or had used ideas and thoughts that were not based in the past. I have to say I was scared that they would be offended that I would dare to break the "rules" of our field. But I knew I had to say what I had to say. I prayed for courage all weekend, and when my time came, I spoke with such clarity and confidence. I was grounded in my body and words were flowing out of my mouth like they were meant to exist and take form at that instant in time and space. I have never felt so strong.

I was there for Ching Salteo. She said she feel there is a shift going on in her research. As she is starting her post-PhD at McGill and working on an Asian writer as well, she doesn’t want to hide behind the "we" and the "it seems" anymore. She wants to take responsibility for want she thinks and says.

I was there for Isabelle who is a poet and a creative writing professor at l'UQUAM. She said that she never thought literature could be related to the body, to biology and that she feels that because writing is such an organic process, it makes sense to look into other fields of science instead of just within the literary field. She had mentioned during her presentation that there has to exist a distance between the writer and her poem, that there is a difference between a journal entry and a publishable poem. The "body " information made her re-think that statement.

I was there for Olivier. (not my son) With his big brown eyes, probably an Indigo himself, he was touched by my audacity to mix research fields and told me that he feels that crossing borders is the only way we will go forward in our thinking.

I was there for my mother. She was unbelievably strong and loving through out the whole weekend as she accompanied me through it all, like my own personal coach and fan club. Never in my adult life have we had such a close and true time together. She would tell me things like : "Anne, your message is a message of light and of life. It comes from you, deep inside yourself, how can you go wrong." or " I trust the life in you, your maman loves you" This is a woman with who only 10 months ago, I could not be with for more than a few hours. But has I reclaimed the "I" that "I AM" I was able to see her, for the wonderful, loving, sensitive, compassionate woman she is. She said she was so nervous as I took the stand and that she almost left the room of fear of not being able to handle it if my presentation went wrong. But she stayed and now she is more. It might as well have been her there in front of her parents, speaking her truth. Breath...

But most of all, I think I was there for Janusz Prsychodzen. Janusz is my old master's thesis director and he is the one I have been doing research for, for the past 3 years. He is a brilliant man. He is a role model for me when it comes to pushing the limits of my own thinking. He has always believed in me even if he has always been harsh in his criticism. Through years, I have learn not to take them personally and to be grateful that I am supported by such an great thinker. He told me the day before my conference that he had a spiritual experience in India where his crown chachra open up and things were down loaded into his body. He was standing at a street corner waiting for the bus and a Guru looked into his eyes and chanted a mantra. This is coming from an intellectual, prolific and renowned academic writer, who needs proof behind him to confirm something is true. He said he hasn't been the same since and he feels annoyed that it happened with out his "consent" (conscious consent, of course) and that it is harder to do the things that use to be so easy for him. I told him that for as long as he will resist this change, he will feel frustrated and annoyed. That the acceleration of evolution is only going to pick up and that he should go with it. Anyway, I was pretty sure that he would, after my presentation, maybe even in front of all the audience, tell me how I was off base and wrong. ( he does it al the time to other presenter) He didn't. He smiled at me as I finished reading my article. Later he came up to me and said if I wanted to make my presntation into an article for a book he is putting together. He said he understood the body component of my approach. He smiled and he didn't say anything else. I could tell in his eyes he was confused. Breath. I could tell he knew I had said something important for him. Breath. I could feel him being vulnerable for the first time in front of me. This brings tears to my eyes because I feel like a wall is falling between us. Why is it so important for that wall to fall? I don't know but it feels huge to me. He left the conference without saying goodbye...

At the end of the conference, there was a reception. As I was sipping my wine, I became aware of an intense feeling of belonging. It feels to me that back in NS, I often don't belong. Most people I interact with don't SEE me. Yesterday, surrounded by all these strangers, I was Home. Today walking around Montreal, I feel like I am Home. Breath.... I know it is a state of awareness and of being to feel at home. It may be that as I raised my vibrations to match the truth inside me, people saw me more. Maybe I need to do some work on my new "family system" back in NS. I say new because I have only been there for 3 years and already it feel like it’s a system I need to look at.

…

Mon regard subjectif sur Le Mangeur de Ying Chen

Le son de la mâchoire profonde résonne dans les cellules de ma masse corporelle
et dessine à mes yeux les contours d’un rêve paternel.
La mémoire de la pesanteur de la chair
me garde lourde sur ce plancher conjugal.
Ma peau empoisonne le mouvement vital et retient les sons dans ma gorge.
Je désire m’envoler hors de ce corps étranger,
retrouver la lumière qui est « même » à moi-même.
La perte de l’ancêtre restera dans l’odeur de mon haleine
alors que je chanterai sur la scène de mes existences
la joie lumineuse de ma nouvelle liberté

A message to myself

“Break the silence of your life, make your world a representation of your dreams. Make it happen as fast as you can, as this is important. I wish to see you happy. I wish to have you here with me, soon. A silver box. The hidden secrets. I have saved you from yourself many times. Do it consciously now. The truth lies in your words. Make them known, present them.”

My body is changing. I feel information moving through on a continual basis now. Everyday I feel my flesh moving and reorganizing. My face rewires itself as I write, I feel my right cheek and sinus tingling, moving, and freeing itself. I feel my cells expending and becoming less heavy. I spend most of my days quiet within myself even when I am surrounded with others. When I communicate with people, I feel like the world doesn’t exist around. I am fully there, present in the moment. My perception of things is different. I love more, I don’t judge as much as I use to. I feel compassion even with people I didn’t use to care for.

I long to give back…

Breath…

With these words, I am.

Souffle

Je regarde
Le poids de mes yeux
Le vent prend la charge
Et je prends ma place

Les choses sont lourdes
Les concepts trop pleins
Mon oeil se ferme
Je garde ma place
Effrité

Qu’est-ce qui pousse
Dans mon for intérieur
Une glace étouffée
Et ton regard trop lourd

Ses feuilles s’étirent
Prennent leur place
Se fondent au travers des cellules
Qui couvrent les parois de mon corps

Le vent disparaît
Il surgit sur l’iris
Se propulse vers l’extérieur
Tu le vois, enfin

...

A lot has happened in the last few weeks, and yet, I don’t have much to say. I just know that what is happening is big and I am ready for big.

I am calling out to people who are interested in helping support my project of creating an Institute that would be an emotional and physical space for children of all ages to come learn and experience life on their own terms; a wide open space that will assists them through the earth's transition into the new era. A place where they can just "be" their divine unique self and evolve at their own pace, following the natural patterns of their nature.

I want this Institute to exist in the 3rd, 4th and 5th dimension. I want it to be a place of joy and harmony for all that want to experience it.

A journey into another dimension... I think.

Something very interesting happened to me last night. Something new, I never experienced before. Something that existed in the realm of “I didn’t know I didn’t know”.

Before I went to bed, as I was talking with my husband, I came to realize that I would love to get rid of my fear of death. I thought to myself, if I wasn’t afraid of dying, I really would be unstoppable. I consciously asked the universe to help me with this one.

I was lying in bed and I started my daily meditation. I could feel pressure in my sinuses so I started by breathing through my third eye with deep breaths. Because the pressure was not relieving itself, I though that if I soften my crown chakra and focused on leading the light/energy through my sinuses into my throat, maybe it would help. So I did and as the pressure dissipated in my sinuses, it went in the back of my neck. It felt like a clamp was holding my neck in place and my lips were tingling. I focused on leading the light from my crown, through my 3rd eye and across my throat so the pressure could move to the BVAs, and it did. My arms tingled and it felt like light was shooting out from my fingers. I decided to do an “air” breath to move the information into my solar plexus and, after my heart pounded loudly, my solar plexus felt like a sheet of wood. It was tight and information was moving. It didn’t take long before the information relocated to my 2nd chakra, at which point I did a “water” breath to move it further. And that is when things got weird.

My legs started to vibrate. It was very uncomfortable. It felt like when I was going through morphine withdrawal after my stay in the hospital following my car accident. It tingled everywhere and I wanted it to stop. I wanted to get up and shake it off but I though; maybe I should try an earth breath to calm myself, to let myself know that I was safe. So I did. My breathing became very deep and slow. It calmed my body down. I felt very grounded. I don’t know how long I stayed in the crucible but suddenly, a face appeared on the ceiling. With my eyes open, I looked at it as it changed forms and moved around the room. It had red and yellow hues. Two more beings appeared and were dancing in front on my eyes. I became aware that my whole body was vibrating and I could hear a loud sound in my ears, like a harp playing a cosmic tune?!?! The faces on the ceiling changed into a scenery of purple and green energy fields moving around. The sound and the images combined into a beautiful feeling and I smiled. I ask if there something I should know and a green fairy appeared above my face. It seemed to want me to follow her. Right away, my attention came back to my body. I realized that I couldn’t feel much, that the vibrations of it were so high that I couldn’t sense it anymore. At that moment, I felt fear. A fear of leaving this plane, my husband, and my son. I was having an internal struggle between the feeling of wanting to trust what was going on and the thought that I didn’t want to leave. My heart pounded, I thought it would stop beating. I felt like I couldn’t breath very well, and the fear grew bigger. The scenery on the ceiling started to shrink and change color, and the musical tone became a high pitch ring that seemed to come from the hallway. My body stabilized, I could feel it again but it felt less heavy than before. It felt less tangible, more like a cloud. I felt the urge to write. I believe the fairy told me to write before she left, but I could not make myself leave the bed. I didn’t know if my cloud like body would follow or what would happen. I also was a little fearful of venturing out of my bedroom. I didn’t feel like myself so I laid back down and fell asleep.

I know it was not a dream, as much at it sounds like one. I am not sure what it was about. Maybe a way for me to understand that death doesn’t really exist when you know from experience that you are not your body. If that is the case, I can see how much unlearning we/I need in order to even start to comprehend what it is to exist in a fourth or fifth dimension. And with all the changes that are going on in the world right now, I wonder how much time there is left to learn.

Did something similar ever happen to any of you? Or am I completely crazy??!!!?? lol

Dream segments...

(...) I live my life as a parcel of potential.

I am an ever emergent being in the realm of earthly things.

I perceive thru the lens of my body.

The music of other spheres penetrates my field and I REALLY see them.

There are no more shadows as matter becomes less tangible and light penetrates thru.

The information contain in light reveal itself to me at a quantum speed.

What is this nail biting of mine? The pressure of information wanting to come out from inside and my beliefs hold it back.

Translation is a matter of survival. Can you tell me want I can’t hear? Can you tell the world what I can’t perceive?

My desire for this journey lies in my capability to communicate to you what I see, the information that lies within the tree, within you and within what you create.

My ability to see will help make sense and bring forward imaginary realities into a new wave of evolution.

I see myself in your arms, until the end, as the Translator. (...)

My "message" to you

Here I am, again, face with this moment.

In the stillness of my body, I feel restless deep, deep within.
I see tremendous light as I glance toward tomorrow;
I see your smile leading the way.
I sense the immensity of your potential,
I can almost taste the sweet joy that you radiate.

I take my time.
In an accelerated way,
I still crawl when I am aware of my ability to leap and run.
My fears are left behind,
they shed one by one as I grow taller and become less tangible.
My form looses its edges and time disappear form my perception.
I become one with the world, one with you,
and one with this unbelievably beautiful moment I share with you.

In this particular space and time,
the pencil in my hand becomes heavy;
I can no longer use it.
Gravity reclaims my tool and I am no longer “writer”.
I am “us”.
On the scene of my mind,
I display my thoughts for you to see, for us to feel.
My canvas is the universe
and my tool is the breath that animates the space that is “me”.

My life extends beyond the confines of my roots.
My core expands deeper.
I see an existence of intense love.

You are with me on this journey.

Dream sequence...

...
“I have been here before.

Not in this chair, on this land, but in this mind space.
I have been faced with the dilemma of conserving the status quo when deep down inside, I knew I needed to trust him, the one who knew. I might be responsible for the delay in the knowledge getting to our time.

I have no time to waste. If there is something I can do, it's to make sure this info gets out and stays out this time.”
...

Tu te définis

Tu te dessines devant moi,
comme une herbe qui grandit
sans savoir ce qui la nourrira demain,
mais qui possède la certitude
qu'elle sera sustentée.

Ce que tu émets
alimente mon monde,
nourrit ma vie.
Ce que tu deviens
se dévoile clairement.

Les couleurs sont denses
vibrantes,
ta nature est immense
et elle se mêle au flot
de la vie qui t'entoure.

Un jour, tes rayons viendront toucher les miens.
Ensemble, nous produirons
un tout magnifique qui sera à nos yeux
plus majestueux que ce que nous avons pu percevoir
sur l'écran de nos imaginations.

Et c'est comme ça, petit à petit,
que tes vibrations assureront
la survie de notre humanité,
de l'essence qui anime l'être en nous,
guidée par le souffle.

Ton courage est exemplaire.

Remembering Lemuria

Thank you for the warm welcome back Lori! I had an amazing experience in Kauai, but I feel just like after one of Louise's program... having a hard time reintegrating and going through withdrawal.

I took the opportunity of a trip to disconnect from my routine thoughts and opened myself up to the possibility of new ones.

Kauai was said to be the physical location of where Lemuria use to be, the ancient civilization that preceded Atlantis. I had heard that it might have been, but spending 12 days over there, I can say that I have never felt anything like it when it comes to heighten awareness and high frequency vibration. I have known and been curious about Lemuria for many years now. I knew that I had lived there in a past life and that the way we lived was a way I aspired to live in this lifetime.

My husband and I camped on the Island for 11 days. We had no plans; we decided to make the trip an adventure of living in the moment and trusting that the moment would show us the way. That decision brought a lot of freedom and trills for us; it also brought up fears I needed to work through. One of them was my fear of the immensity of nature. The beach we camped at the first night was deserted, the waves were furiously crashing on the shore and we were at the bottom of an immense vertical cliff. The shear grandeur of it still gives me goose bumps. The side of the island we were on at that time is where they filmed Jurassic Park... remember the shot at the beginning were they are flying in with an helicopter in to the mountains! I felt submersed by the intensity of the scenery and didn't feel very protected by the sheet of plastic that was my tent over my head. I came to realize that I was partly afraid of the immensity, the incoherence and chaotic nature inside myself.

Fron that point on, Paul and I decided to check in with each other often to make sure we weren't making decision out of fear but that we were taking decision because it was the right one at the moment.

The second night, we ended up deep, deep in the mountain on a deserted (again) camp ground. No live body for miles around and if it rained, we would be stuck there until it stopped because the roads were dirt and mud. And when it rains there, it pours. That evening, has we camped amist the wilderness, I felt more connected with the earth and grounded within myself than I felt in a long time. I met a magnificent tree and I, like I had dreamed of doing, smelled the earth around it! (For those who were in the writing retreat last December at Oceanstone, it was one of the things I would do if I could do anything. It would come up in my poetry) The smell was reassuring, simple, and complex at the same time. It smelt like home and it smelted like it knew more than I did, that I could and should trust something that smelt like that! (As a metaphor, of course) I felt that if I ever get lost within my world, I could smell the earth around a tree and it would show me the way. That night, I had a hard time sleeping. The noise of the forest was loud. At times, I was afraid animals would come and attack our tent. It's funny how I feel safer in a city, surrounded by humans. Really, who is more trustworthy?



The next three days we rented surfboards and that brought up a lot as well. Paul was bothered at the code of conduct you have to follow when there is 20 people on one wave. Not something that happens often in Nova Scotia. The whole social awkwardness and the intense politics it almost made him quit surfing for good. It was hard, but we found a wave with no one on it (I think I manifested it because the break wasn't there until I entered the water) and Paul followed me and we had a great time. Surfing is a metaphor for my life. The desire to ride the moment along with a fear that something so immense could swallow me up. When I am paddling in a new wave for the first time, when I look back and I see how much bigger and more powerful it is than me, the adrenaline in my body kicks in. If I am scared, the wave will do what it wants with my board and I. It can propel me in to a ride that will be completely directed by her or it can engulf me under the water until it passes. If I am not scared and I focused on feeling it's momentum underneath my body, on catching the belly of the wave and on standing on my board, I can make that ride my own. I can control it, direct it, while respecting the life that is propelling me forward. How do I want to live my life? Scared and controlled or in charge and confident.



After three days, we wanted to get ride of the boards because they were taking away from the spontaneity of the trip. We felt compelled to find the perfect spot and surf as much as we could because the boards were expensive and, ho ya… we were In Kauai. A weight lifted when we returned them. For the next few days, I felt very relaxed and most of all neutral. I didn't have an opinion about much. I definitely had tuned myself to the Island’s rhythm, very, very chilled and laid back.

As we were asking each other what was on our mind, I came to the realization that what is on my mind is for the most part, worry thoughts. When I asked Paul the question, he would have some kind of funny creative idea that was mostly implausible but was entertaining him, and me I have to say. When he would ask me the question, my answer was most of the time something I was worried about. I thought that was an interesting realization and the firsts step in changing that behavior.

The Friday before we came back, we met up with a woman who introduced us with HUNA. Having never taken any HUNA workshop myself, I knew a little bit about it but I was very interested in knowing more. We had a very long and fascinating conversation before she gave us a treatment, a conversation during which my assumptions about Kauai being Lemuria were confirmed. For my part, the treatment consisted in a download of Lemurian information that I felt was reinforcing my life's path and my vision. At one point during our conversation, I felt the colors of everything around me becoming brighter and I felt very light. I could see air! I could see our words! As I am writing this, I feel very nostalgic of that moment.



The next day, which was the day before we left, I spent most of it crying. Why, I wasn't sure at the time but tremendous sadness overcame me, the same that would come around at the funeral of a loved one. And since we got back, I feel a little depressed, annoyed, impatient. I guess I placed myself back into the boxes I had for myself here. I need to eliminate the useless behaviors that are holding me back, keeping me heavy and too tangible. Eliminate the non-constructive and non-productive thoughts or redirect them and focus them toward my vision.

I feel the need and the duty to recreate for myself and the people around me a way of life based in the laws of nature. A way of being that is a reminder of what it used to be to live in harmony, to communicate telepathically and having access to information at the same speed our bodies are able to assimilate knowledge at a cellular level.

Patience...

I hold a culturally conditioned belief that doing nothing is a waste of time. If I don't have anything tangible, in a timely manner, to show for my work, it is a waste of time. If no one acknowledges it or agrees with it, it is a waste of time. If no one can understand it, it is a waste of time. This belief is ingrained in me, very deep. It has many layers that have been falling of one by one but there is still a knot to get to. What I want for myself is the ability to stand alone with the certainty that I am in the right place at the right time and that what I am doing is important, fulfilling and will make sense at some point in the future.

I will be back to Kauai!