Something very interesting happened to me last night. Something new, I never experienced before. Something that existed in the realm of “I didn’t know I didn’t know”.
Before I went to bed, as I was talking with my husband, I came to realize that I would love to get rid of my fear of death. I thought to myself, if I wasn’t afraid of dying, I really would be unstoppable. I consciously asked the universe to help me with this one.
I was lying in bed and I started my daily meditation. I could feel pressure in my sinuses so I started by breathing through my third eye with deep breaths. Because the pressure was not relieving itself, I though that if I soften my crown chakra and focused on leading the light/energy through my sinuses into my throat, maybe it would help. So I did and as the pressure dissipated in my sinuses, it went in the back of my neck. It felt like a clamp was holding my neck in place and my lips were tingling. I focused on leading the light from my crown, through my 3rd eye and across my throat so the pressure could move to the BVAs, and it did. My arms tingled and it felt like light was shooting out from my fingers. I decided to do an “air” breath to move the information into my solar plexus and, after my heart pounded loudly, my solar plexus felt like a sheet of wood. It was tight and information was moving. It didn’t take long before the information relocated to my 2nd chakra, at which point I did a “water” breath to move it further. And that is when things got weird.
My legs started to vibrate. It was very uncomfortable. It felt like when I was going through morphine withdrawal after my stay in the hospital following my car accident. It tingled everywhere and I wanted it to stop. I wanted to get up and shake it off but I though; maybe I should try an earth breath to calm myself, to let myself know that I was safe. So I did. My breathing became very deep and slow. It calmed my body down. I felt very grounded. I don’t know how long I stayed in the crucible but suddenly, a face appeared on the ceiling. With my eyes open, I looked at it as it changed forms and moved around the room. It had red and yellow hues. Two more beings appeared and were dancing in front on my eyes. I became aware that my whole body was vibrating and I could hear a loud sound in my ears, like a harp playing a cosmic tune?!?! The faces on the ceiling changed into a scenery of purple and green energy fields moving around. The sound and the images combined into a beautiful feeling and I smiled. I ask if there something I should know and a green fairy appeared above my face. It seemed to want me to follow her. Right away, my attention came back to my body. I realized that I couldn’t feel much, that the vibrations of it were so high that I couldn’t sense it anymore. At that moment, I felt fear. A fear of leaving this plane, my husband, and my son. I was having an internal struggle between the feeling of wanting to trust what was going on and the thought that I didn’t want to leave. My heart pounded, I thought it would stop beating. I felt like I couldn’t breath very well, and the fear grew bigger. The scenery on the ceiling started to shrink and change color, and the musical tone became a high pitch ring that seemed to come from the hallway. My body stabilized, I could feel it again but it felt less heavy than before. It felt less tangible, more like a cloud. I felt the urge to write. I believe the fairy told me to write before she left, but I could not make myself leave the bed. I didn’t know if my cloud like body would follow or what would happen. I also was a little fearful of venturing out of my bedroom. I didn’t feel like myself so I laid back down and fell asleep.
I know it was not a dream, as much at it sounds like one. I am not sure what it was about. Maybe a way for me to understand that death doesn’t really exist when you know from experience that you are not your body. If that is the case, I can see how much unlearning we/I need in order to even start to comprehend what it is to exist in a fourth or fifth dimension. And with all the changes that are going on in the world right now, I wonder how much time there is left to learn.
Did something similar ever happen to any of you? Or am I completely crazy??!!!?? lol
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3 comments:
Anne that is beautiful. My body was flooded with warmth when I read your entry this morning and I have goosebumps all over myself.
I once had an experience of being in deep meditation and suddenly no longer hearing the others in the room with me. I found my attention in the blackness and I would look up at this beautiful fish swimming above my head.
I stayed there for a while, living in the sensations I experienced, until my awareness became aware that I was somewhere else.
I became afraid and I jolted myself back into the room.
That was my experience that came to mind.
Also what comes to mind is that you created the space, put out the invitation, trusted your body and the truth of your experience, and breathed.
The playfulness, innocence and beauty of your expereince is what leaves an impression on me. A sense of wonderment, awe and sacredness.
You are amazing!
Thanks Lori for your words. It did have a feel of innocence and playfulness to it.
I wonder if I stayed with it longer if I would have left or if it's just a different reality that I can experience while staying here.
I am very curious about it.
Did you look into the symbolic of the fish?
I don't know the meaning of the fish. Funny that, it was so colourful and I had such a sense of peace and beauty as I watched it.
There is a book Celine talked about one time. About a man who would often travel in a meditative state. He could always return, I would ask her about this book. (And let me know because I would love to read it)
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