The power of LIFE

I have to say that my visit with my parents is so completely different then it ever was and what I would have expected to be. It is magical!! Because I stepped into my self with so much confidence and determination, I am relieving them from the weight of the edges I had placed on them... for good reason considering the past but that no longer are relevant because I am awake, in the presence of my truth. My truth speaks clearly and I see things for what they are, not what they seem to be. The mirror image is big for my understanding of how this change in perception was possible. When something annoys me, when it gets to me and it makes me want to blame someone for that, I reflect the situation right back at myself and I discover something about my insecurities that had nothing to do with the person I was interacting with. Because my parents are so externally referenced, they blame a lot and they feel powerless in front of the world’s problem. I started to model to them the use of the pronoun I instead of we when I speak about something that gets me all wound up. It's obviously something I am passionate about. Anyway, just that simple tool of turning the miror back at myself and them doing the same thing changed the dynamics enormously. I don't feel guilty anymore because I see it's something about them and they are getting amazing insights about themselves. And I am so lucky to be in their presence when the insights happen because I can see the god force that they are.

Now, that probably would not have happenned after the ITS. Sure, I would have felt more resourceful, of course, but it is the experience of having LIFE lead the process in the Writing Retreat that made the big difference. Marie-Josée was right when she said that "not only do we know now how it feels to be connected but we can take that knowledge with us to use in our life”. That is the gift I received from being a witness of the forces of life. It gave me tremendous trust.... that LIFE will lead me down the right path, even when it might not seem so.... it will. I am having a hard time explaining what that knowledge is, the one I had after the writing retreat but I did not have after the ITS. After the ITS, I understood the world differently, but I still felt like the changes that happened were the result of a process that was external to me. I did not feel like I had everything I needed to continue the potent experience I had in the program room. The majority of the leadership came from Louise, and rightfully so. But in the writing retreat, the leadership came from all of us, including Louise. And for Louise to have had the wisdom to see that opportunity and to allow it to happen with no external proof other than she believed in it, is what gave me an experience I could take home, because I WAS the experience. I know I am fixating on this idea of process but it feels huge to me. Breath..... The feeling, the space that existed in the program room during the ITS experience, a feeling and a space I did not want to leave behind, I did not feel I was able to create it in my life, on my own. I know I can now, I know how it feels to create that space, and therefore I am able to create. It was modeled to me in a context that allowed me to be part of it, to be it, not just to be in the presence of the information. Modeling this process, meaning being my authentic self, is the only way I believe I can teach my son about life and about himself. It was the best tool any teacher gave me. It will be the only tool I will give my son... the power of LIFE.