Something very interesting happened to me last night. Something new, I never experienced before. Something that existed in the realm of “I didn’t know I didn’t know”.
Before I went to bed, as I was talking with my husband, I came to realize that I would love to get rid of my fear of death. I thought to myself, if I wasn’t afraid of dying, I really would be unstoppable. I consciously asked the universe to help me with this one.
I was lying in bed and I started my daily meditation. I could feel pressure in my sinuses so I started by breathing through my third eye with deep breaths. Because the pressure was not relieving itself, I though that if I soften my crown chakra and focused on leading the light/energy through my sinuses into my throat, maybe it would help. So I did and as the pressure dissipated in my sinuses, it went in the back of my neck. It felt like a clamp was holding my neck in place and my lips were tingling. I focused on leading the light from my crown, through my 3rd eye and across my throat so the pressure could move to the BVAs, and it did. My arms tingled and it felt like light was shooting out from my fingers. I decided to do an “air” breath to move the information into my solar plexus and, after my heart pounded loudly, my solar plexus felt like a sheet of wood. It was tight and information was moving. It didn’t take long before the information relocated to my 2nd chakra, at which point I did a “water” breath to move it further. And that is when things got weird.
My legs started to vibrate. It was very uncomfortable. It felt like when I was going through morphine withdrawal after my stay in the hospital following my car accident. It tingled everywhere and I wanted it to stop. I wanted to get up and shake it off but I though; maybe I should try an earth breath to calm myself, to let myself know that I was safe. So I did. My breathing became very deep and slow. It calmed my body down. I felt very grounded. I don’t know how long I stayed in the crucible but suddenly, a face appeared on the ceiling. With my eyes open, I looked at it as it changed forms and moved around the room. It had red and yellow hues. Two more beings appeared and were dancing in front on my eyes. I became aware that my whole body was vibrating and I could hear a loud sound in my ears, like a harp playing a cosmic tune?!?! The faces on the ceiling changed into a scenery of purple and green energy fields moving around. The sound and the images combined into a beautiful feeling and I smiled. I ask if there something I should know and a green fairy appeared above my face. It seemed to want me to follow her. Right away, my attention came back to my body. I realized that I couldn’t feel much, that the vibrations of it were so high that I couldn’t sense it anymore. At that moment, I felt fear. A fear of leaving this plane, my husband, and my son. I was having an internal struggle between the feeling of wanting to trust what was going on and the thought that I didn’t want to leave. My heart pounded, I thought it would stop beating. I felt like I couldn’t breath very well, and the fear grew bigger. The scenery on the ceiling started to shrink and change color, and the musical tone became a high pitch ring that seemed to come from the hallway. My body stabilized, I could feel it again but it felt less heavy than before. It felt less tangible, more like a cloud. I felt the urge to write. I believe the fairy told me to write before she left, but I could not make myself leave the bed. I didn’t know if my cloud like body would follow or what would happen. I also was a little fearful of venturing out of my bedroom. I didn’t feel like myself so I laid back down and fell asleep.
I know it was not a dream, as much at it sounds like one. I am not sure what it was about. Maybe a way for me to understand that death doesn’t really exist when you know from experience that you are not your body. If that is the case, I can see how much unlearning we/I need in order to even start to comprehend what it is to exist in a fourth or fifth dimension. And with all the changes that are going on in the world right now, I wonder how much time there is left to learn.
Did something similar ever happen to any of you? Or am I completely crazy??!!!?? lol
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Dream segments...
(...) I live my life as a parcel of potential.
I am an ever emergent being in the realm of earthly things.
I perceive thru the lens of my body.
The music of other spheres penetrates my field and I REALLY see them.
There are no more shadows as matter becomes less tangible and light penetrates thru.
The information contain in light reveal itself to me at a quantum speed.
What is this nail biting of mine? The pressure of information wanting to come out from inside and my beliefs hold it back.
Translation is a matter of survival. Can you tell me want I can’t hear? Can you tell the world what I can’t perceive?
My desire for this journey lies in my capability to communicate to you what I see, the information that lies within the tree, within you and within what you create.
My ability to see will help make sense and bring forward imaginary realities into a new wave of evolution.
I see myself in your arms, until the end, as the Translator. (...)
I am an ever emergent being in the realm of earthly things.
I perceive thru the lens of my body.
The music of other spheres penetrates my field and I REALLY see them.
There are no more shadows as matter becomes less tangible and light penetrates thru.
The information contain in light reveal itself to me at a quantum speed.
What is this nail biting of mine? The pressure of information wanting to come out from inside and my beliefs hold it back.
Translation is a matter of survival. Can you tell me want I can’t hear? Can you tell the world what I can’t perceive?
My desire for this journey lies in my capability to communicate to you what I see, the information that lies within the tree, within you and within what you create.
My ability to see will help make sense and bring forward imaginary realities into a new wave of evolution.
I see myself in your arms, until the end, as the Translator. (...)
Saturday, March 24, 2007
My "message" to you
Here I am, again, face with this moment.
In the stillness of my body, I feel restless deep, deep within.
I see tremendous light as I glance toward tomorrow;
I see your smile leading the way.
I sense the immensity of your potential,
I can almost taste the sweet joy that you radiate.
I take my time.
In an accelerated way,
I still crawl when I am aware of my ability to leap and run.
My fears are left behind,
they shed one by one as I grow taller and become less tangible.
My form looses its edges and time disappear form my perception.
I become one with the world, one with you,
and one with this unbelievably beautiful moment I share with you.
In this particular space and time,
the pencil in my hand becomes heavy;
I can no longer use it.
Gravity reclaims my tool and I am no longer “writer”.
I am “us”.
On the scene of my mind,
I display my thoughts for you to see, for us to feel.
My canvas is the universe
and my tool is the breath that animates the space that is “me”.
My life extends beyond the confines of my roots.
My core expands deeper.
I see an existence of intense love.
You are with me on this journey.
In the stillness of my body, I feel restless deep, deep within.
I see tremendous light as I glance toward tomorrow;
I see your smile leading the way.
I sense the immensity of your potential,
I can almost taste the sweet joy that you radiate.
I take my time.
In an accelerated way,
I still crawl when I am aware of my ability to leap and run.
My fears are left behind,
they shed one by one as I grow taller and become less tangible.
My form looses its edges and time disappear form my perception.
I become one with the world, one with you,
and one with this unbelievably beautiful moment I share with you.
In this particular space and time,
the pencil in my hand becomes heavy;
I can no longer use it.
Gravity reclaims my tool and I am no longer “writer”.
I am “us”.
On the scene of my mind,
I display my thoughts for you to see, for us to feel.
My canvas is the universe
and my tool is the breath that animates the space that is “me”.
My life extends beyond the confines of my roots.
My core expands deeper.
I see an existence of intense love.
You are with me on this journey.
Monday, March 19, 2007
Dream sequence...
...
“I have been here before.
Not in this chair, on this land, but in this mind space.
I have been faced with the dilemma of conserving the status quo when deep down inside, I knew I needed to trust him, the one who knew. I might be responsible for the delay in the knowledge getting to our time.
I have no time to waste. If there is something I can do, it's to make sure this info gets out and stays out this time.”
...
“I have been here before.
Not in this chair, on this land, but in this mind space.
I have been faced with the dilemma of conserving the status quo when deep down inside, I knew I needed to trust him, the one who knew. I might be responsible for the delay in the knowledge getting to our time.
I have no time to waste. If there is something I can do, it's to make sure this info gets out and stays out this time.”
...
Tu te définis
Tu te dessines devant moi,
comme une herbe qui grandit
sans savoir ce qui la nourrira demain,
mais qui possède la certitude
qu'elle sera sustentée.
Ce que tu émets
alimente mon monde,
nourrit ma vie.
Ce que tu deviens
se dévoile clairement.
Les couleurs sont denses
vibrantes,
ta nature est immense
et elle se mêle au flot
de la vie qui t'entoure.
Un jour, tes rayons viendront toucher les miens.
Ensemble, nous produirons
un tout magnifique qui sera à nos yeux
plus majestueux que ce que nous avons pu percevoir
sur l'écran de nos imaginations.
Et c'est comme ça, petit à petit,
que tes vibrations assureront
la survie de notre humanité,
de l'essence qui anime l'être en nous,
guidée par le souffle.
Ton courage est exemplaire.
comme une herbe qui grandit
sans savoir ce qui la nourrira demain,
mais qui possède la certitude
qu'elle sera sustentée.
Ce que tu émets
alimente mon monde,
nourrit ma vie.
Ce que tu deviens
se dévoile clairement.
Les couleurs sont denses
vibrantes,
ta nature est immense
et elle se mêle au flot
de la vie qui t'entoure.
Un jour, tes rayons viendront toucher les miens.
Ensemble, nous produirons
un tout magnifique qui sera à nos yeux
plus majestueux que ce que nous avons pu percevoir
sur l'écran de nos imaginations.
Et c'est comme ça, petit à petit,
que tes vibrations assureront
la survie de notre humanité,
de l'essence qui anime l'être en nous,
guidée par le souffle.
Ton courage est exemplaire.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Remembering Lemuria
Thank you for the warm welcome back Lori! I had an amazing experience in Kauai, but I feel just like after one of Louise's program... having a hard time reintegrating and going through withdrawal.
I took the opportunity of a trip to disconnect from my routine thoughts and opened myself up to the possibility of new ones.
Kauai was said to be the physical location of where Lemuria use to be, the ancient civilization that preceded Atlantis. I had heard that it might have been, but spending 12 days over there, I can say that I have never felt anything like it when it comes to heighten awareness and high frequency vibration. I have known and been curious about Lemuria for many years now. I knew that I had lived there in a past life and that the way we lived was a way I aspired to live in this lifetime.
My husband and I camped on the Island for 11 days. We had no plans; we decided to make the trip an adventure of living in the moment and trusting that the moment would show us the way. That decision brought a lot of freedom and trills for us; it also brought up fears I needed to work through. One of them was my fear of the immensity of nature. The beach we camped at the first night was deserted, the waves were furiously crashing on the shore and we were at the bottom of an immense vertical cliff. The shear grandeur of it still gives me goose bumps. The side of the island we were on at that time is where they filmed Jurassic Park... remember the shot at the beginning were they are flying in with an helicopter in to the mountains! I felt submersed by the intensity of the scenery and didn't feel very protected by the sheet of plastic that was my tent over my head. I came to realize that I was partly afraid of the immensity, the incoherence and chaotic nature inside myself.
Fron that point on, Paul and I decided to check in with each other often to make sure we weren't making decision out of fear but that we were taking decision because it was the right one at the moment.
The second night, we ended up deep, deep in the mountain on a deserted (again) camp ground. No live body for miles around and if it rained, we would be stuck there until it stopped because the roads were dirt and mud. And when it rains there, it pours. That evening, has we camped amist the wilderness, I felt more connected with the earth and grounded within myself than I felt in a long time. I met a magnificent tree and I, like I had dreamed of doing, smelled the earth around it! (For those who were in the writing retreat last December at Oceanstone, it was one of the things I would do if I could do anything. It would come up in my poetry) The smell was reassuring, simple, and complex at the same time. It smelt like home and it smelted like it knew more than I did, that I could and should trust something that smelt like that! (As a metaphor, of course) I felt that if I ever get lost within my world, I could smell the earth around a tree and it would show me the way. That night, I had a hard time sleeping. The noise of the forest was loud. At times, I was afraid animals would come and attack our tent. It's funny how I feel safer in a city, surrounded by humans. Really, who is more trustworthy?
The next three days we rented surfboards and that brought up a lot as well. Paul was bothered at the code of conduct you have to follow when there is 20 people on one wave. Not something that happens often in Nova Scotia. The whole social awkwardness and the intense politics it almost made him quit surfing for good. It was hard, but we found a wave with no one on it (I think I manifested it because the break wasn't there until I entered the water) and Paul followed me and we had a great time. Surfing is a metaphor for my life. The desire to ride the moment along with a fear that something so immense could swallow me up. When I am paddling in a new wave for the first time, when I look back and I see how much bigger and more powerful it is than me, the adrenaline in my body kicks in. If I am scared, the wave will do what it wants with my board and I. It can propel me in to a ride that will be completely directed by her or it can engulf me under the water until it passes. If I am not scared and I focused on feeling it's momentum underneath my body, on catching the belly of the wave and on standing on my board, I can make that ride my own. I can control it, direct it, while respecting the life that is propelling me forward. How do I want to live my life? Scared and controlled or in charge and confident.
After three days, we wanted to get ride of the boards because they were taking away from the spontaneity of the trip. We felt compelled to find the perfect spot and surf as much as we could because the boards were expensive and, ho ya… we were In Kauai. A weight lifted when we returned them. For the next few days, I felt very relaxed and most of all neutral. I didn't have an opinion about much. I definitely had tuned myself to the Island’s rhythm, very, very chilled and laid back.
As we were asking each other what was on our mind, I came to the realization that what is on my mind is for the most part, worry thoughts. When I asked Paul the question, he would have some kind of funny creative idea that was mostly implausible but was entertaining him, and me I have to say. When he would ask me the question, my answer was most of the time something I was worried about. I thought that was an interesting realization and the firsts step in changing that behavior.
The Friday before we came back, we met up with a woman who introduced us with HUNA. Having never taken any HUNA workshop myself, I knew a little bit about it but I was very interested in knowing more. We had a very long and fascinating conversation before she gave us a treatment, a conversation during which my assumptions about Kauai being Lemuria were confirmed. For my part, the treatment consisted in a download of Lemurian information that I felt was reinforcing my life's path and my vision. At one point during our conversation, I felt the colors of everything around me becoming brighter and I felt very light. I could see air! I could see our words! As I am writing this, I feel very nostalgic of that moment.
The next day, which was the day before we left, I spent most of it crying. Why, I wasn't sure at the time but tremendous sadness overcame me, the same that would come around at the funeral of a loved one. And since we got back, I feel a little depressed, annoyed, impatient. I guess I placed myself back into the boxes I had for myself here. I need to eliminate the useless behaviors that are holding me back, keeping me heavy and too tangible. Eliminate the non-constructive and non-productive thoughts or redirect them and focus them toward my vision.
I feel the need and the duty to recreate for myself and the people around me a way of life based in the laws of nature. A way of being that is a reminder of what it used to be to live in harmony, to communicate telepathically and having access to information at the same speed our bodies are able to assimilate knowledge at a cellular level.
Patience...
I hold a culturally conditioned belief that doing nothing is a waste of time. If I don't have anything tangible, in a timely manner, to show for my work, it is a waste of time. If no one acknowledges it or agrees with it, it is a waste of time. If no one can understand it, it is a waste of time. This belief is ingrained in me, very deep. It has many layers that have been falling of one by one but there is still a knot to get to. What I want for myself is the ability to stand alone with the certainty that I am in the right place at the right time and that what I am doing is important, fulfilling and will make sense at some point in the future.
I will be back to Kauai!
Thursday, March 8, 2007
Starting point
The first thing that needs to happen is to take out of the system the children that are being medicated, kept comatose because they are not "fitting" in the system. The life in them is suppressed and denied and these children are the ones that most likely would lead our world in the future. As the source is more evolved than living thing, they were born with a different mandate and I believe it consists in following the laws of nature, for their own lives and for the planet's survival. Quantum and autopoiesis systems are instinctual concepts for them. As they try to keep the life in them flowing so they can accomplish there unique purpose, the prescription drugs like Ritalin are silencing that life, but worst, the prescription drugs are affecting in a non-constructive way, the rest of their body. In most cases, drugs are prescribed to treat a symptom that is isolated from other conditions and disregard the rest of the body. We know this from the numerous side effects listed on the box or mentioned at the end of a pharmaceutical drug commercial. With today’s new biology based in quantum physics, we know that the body doesn't operate in a linear, "assembly-line" way. It operates following the laws of nature which repreente an holistic way to function. Treating the so called problem of ADHD for example with an external signal that will disregard the natural process of the rest of the body is keeping a blind eye to something big. It's ignoring the new biology, it's ignoring the child's best interest, and it’s abuse…
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